Part Seven: A love story.
(Taken – abridged – from the introduction to the book Many Voices, One Mission.)
…Following the ‘rescue’ of the little boy, a procedure which (as Jane related in Part Six) at its thankfully happy conclusion saw him depart ‘through the bedroom wall’ for the next stage of his existence hand in hand with the loving, elevated spirit who had come to collect him, I remember sitting in my car outside her house thinking about my (strictly professional) encounter with this slim, beautiful blonde girl who had gazed into my eyes and feeling like I had been zapped by a bolt of energy – the likes of which I had never encountered before. I couldn’t think straight. I wasn’t sure what had happened, exactly. All I ‘knew’ was that if I was receiving romantic signals from Jane I couldn’t get involved because ‘God wanted me to concentrate on my mediumship’ and, as Joan, my spiritual mentor, had once so eloquently put it when I was bemoaning what appeared to be a permanent bachelor status and the seemingly inevitable disintegration of any romantic relationship I entered into … instead of being in love with any one person, in order to carry out my spiritual work to maximum effect, I could always choose to ‘be in love with the whole world’. In any case… surely I was imagining things and reading signs that weren’t actually there. Jane couldn’t actually be interested in me… could she?
As stated, however, following the encounter at her home she and I did keep in touch on a semi-regular, purely platonic basis. We would email each other on occasion, with Jane asking me spiritual questions and me sending updates as to my progress along with the responses to her queries. We sometimes bumped into each other, seemingly by ‘accident’, and she would attend my workshops and also visit my home for a clairvoyant reading every twelve months or so. At the conclusion of one such session, in what would ultimately prove to be a pivotal and life-changing moment for us both, I was, to say the least, rendered almost speechless when, as I was in the process of closing down my chakras (the body’s principal spiritual energy vortices, which open to allow spirit communication to take place) and bringing myself back to ‘everyday consciousness’, the spirit who had been working with me that evening to deliver the information and act as a go-between for the personalities who wished to contact Jane through me suddenly announced, ‘She loves you.’
‘What?’ I asked mentally. The gentleman in question, a trusted friend and co-worker from the higher side of life known to us by the simple ‘identification tag’ of the Big Indian, and who, as a personality had, up until this point, consistently been ‘all business’ and (necessarily and quite correctly) strict, focussed and completely dedicated to the task at hand when working with me, fixed me with a poker-faced stare and repeated, ‘She loves you.’
‘Oh…’ I replied mentally, more than a little nonplussed as I escorted Jane to the door (she, of course, being totally unaware of what had just been said to me).
Did I do anything about this staggering revelation? I did not … at least not immediately. After all, I reasoned one more time: ‘Divinity wants me to work for Him/Her and demands total dedication. It’s not on the cards for me to be in a relationship.’
What the Big Indian had revealed was not, however, something I could simply shrug off as you can well imagine, and every so often I would think about that perspective-changing, three-word statement from him and drift away for a few moments into an uncharacteristic (for me) warm and fuzzy daydream.
Then, on a hot summer’s morning in July 2006 which was set to alter both of our personal worlds – a full four years after we had first met and several months after the Big Indian’s bombshell announcement – the receipt of an email from Jane which, as they always did, indicated affection for and interest in me in her usual restrained and respectful way caused a curious catalytic reaction in my approach to her. I suddenly felt deeply saddened by the fact that I was still holding this very special and desirable woman at arm’s length and that she must, after all this time, surely think by now that I had no feelings for her. Actually the truth was, as I finally and fully admitted to myself that day, I did. I was not being fair to her and it was time to let her know the truth.
I carefully composed an email telling her as much, agonising over every word as I typed and re-typed its contents. Finally satisfied that what I had written said just enough and not too much, my hand hovered hesitantly over the send button for what seemed like an age. Eventually I took a deep breath, threw caution to the wind and jabbed at the key, sending the revelations on their way, an action that resulted in me spending much of that day in a nervous, wide-eyed ‘what on Earth have I gone and done?’ state.
Actually what I had done proved to be exactly the right thing to do – both for us personally and for the spiritual work we were intended to undertake should all those metaphysical dots connecting us to a specific future join together as they were supposed to.
Jane replied to my message that afternoon expressing similar affections and we met for our first date a week later. The rest, as they say, is history…
Continued in Part Eight